Teacher's Pet

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is — it's some flowers!"

"That's right!", shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is — it's a box of candy!"

"That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?", she asked.

"No", the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?", she asked.

The little boy shook his head and said, "No ma'am, it's a puppy."

 

 

Riley, a ShihTzu, is on Dogster at

http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?i=263729&j=t

How Evil are You?

I Am 76% Evil 

I am very evil.  And I'm too evil to care.

Those who love me probably also fear me.  A lot.

So...How Evil are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

Inspiration

Shoshone Beaded Dress

 

 

I've got all these projects (and this lovely dress is NOT one of them!!LOL), many in progress, many finished, and of course the many projects that seem to be stuck in this cattle chute in my mind.

I wonder, will my work ever mean anything to anyone?  Will my history speak from the work itself?  Will there be meaning enough to travel with the work?  Will someone know how much I loved working with Beads?  Pencils?  Paper? Thread?  Yarn?  Wood?  Will they be able to tell it through my work?

And then I realize, there is going to have to be a point where I start showing my work.  Here.  That's why I really started this page, because I admired the work some of my friends were doing.  And I wondered how my work would translate to a web page...

So, I reckon, I need to get my party started.  Meanwhile, here's someone else's  piece of work for the ages.

http://www.windriverhistory.org/exhibits/ShoshoneArt/beadwork/index.html

 

cARTalog

Ah, not just for scratch paper anymore!  cARTalog, the Memorial to the Card Catalog site along with it's gallery can be found here: http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/pr/cartalog/home.htm

 

I saw this site (and the lovely book"ish" jacket) mentioned on BookLust: Weblogs

The Koala and the Lizard

A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,



"Hey Koala ! What are you doing?" 

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."



So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.



A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"



The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.



The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"



So the koala looks down at him and says:     

 

 

"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude ... how much water did you drink?!!"

 

Thanks Matt!  Excellent!

 

That's Dazzle, the Border Collie from Dogster.com  Read her story at the link below:

http://dogster.com/pet_page.php?i=201351&j=t&PHPSESSID=51c52b8c96d9d4b26bb31e...

Hillbilly Vasectomy

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed.



So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.



The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.



"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."



The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the  shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear  is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

 So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.  

He held the can up to his ear and began to count...

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"



At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Texas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia,  parts of Indiana, and Louisiana.

Thank you John! (the Yankee)

Toda is another American Pit Bull from Dogster.com  He's also my background on my home desktop.  What a face!  You can see his story at

http://dogster.com/pet_page.php?i=29848&j=t&PHPSESSID=1f944a4b4bc61c9ea92c321...